Pre-Thanksgiving thoughts....

This picture was taken at Thanksgiving two years ago. It was the twin's 1st Thanksgiving. It was my second to last Thanksgiving with John. This picture makes me smile. John was such a good uncle... he was such a wonderful man to love and had so much love to give.

This was our last Thanksgiving with John. I remember he had come late because he had to work until 3pm... and so I had to save him a plate. Then we took a boat ride. It was a beautiful day... I remember that much.... and it's hard to believe he won't be here with me this year. With us. His family. That he won't be sitting next to me on a boat with Annie in the back acting out scenes from SNL skits. Jim with his cigar... happy and blessed.

Thankful.

I was so thankful.

Do I find it harder to be thankful now?

yes.

honestly.

I have to dig deep. I know I still have so many blessings in my life. But John was one of the biggest blessings I had. And I didn't get the time I wanted with him.

Saturday should be 6 years for us.

And for me... it will be 6 years still. 6 years of loving John. And it will never end. I will always love him.

ilymtli