something happened....

i didn't expect this. at all.

it wasn't planned.

it caught me off guard.

And, it's ok. because i like it.

the fact that it happened two days before valentine's day.... the fact that it has a pretty unique story behind it... makes it even better.

i am dating.

yes, i have a boyfriend.

it's allowed. there are no rules in the widow rule book. or in the life rule book. or in the relationship rule book.

i looked them up. And i found nothing on this sort of thing.

what i did look into was myself and the feelings in my heart. and the fact that I am very happy with this person.

i know that everyone has always told me they just want me to be happy.

here's me going for it.

i am going for happiness.

because of all people.... i deserve that.

perhaps you don't agree? sorry.

this does not mean John is out of the picture. he never will be. he's still here.

he's still part of the picture.

it's just i am opening my heart to something new. i have saved room for a new relationship. a new chance.

and it scares the shit out of me at the same time.

here we go.....