Here is a famous poem by Robert Frost:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
Sometimes I feel like I am traveling on a different path... the one less traveled by. In fact I am. I am in the club that no one wants to be part of. I am walking down the path less taken. I am floating down a river in a raft watching the ships pass by.
I KNOW I am not alone on this path. I didn't say it was the path NEVER taken. It's the path less taken... filled with tall grass, thorns, branches, and obstacles. I feel as if I can peer through the woods and see everyone else walking down the better path. The path well lit, worn down... skipping along the way singing songs of happiness. And as my path curves out farther and farther away from the other I feel more and more on my own. I come across others on this path. We walk together... but still in darkness. We can hold each other's trembling hands and feel our way through.
And it's a slow journey.
And I walking carefully.
And I stumble and fall., from time to time. I have misjudged things recently. I have made bad choices... I do careless things... I can admit that.
But, with the grace of God and the hands of others on my path I can get back up and keep taking baby steps.
I have felt like I have walked the wrong way on the path before. I take backwards steps... and I have to turn around and face forward again. For instance, I really felt that the days after Christmas I was doing well on my journey. Then New Years Eve came. I fell back. I got back in that "dark place" and stopped on the path. I did not go forward...
I screamed in my car. LOUD. I was banging on my steering wheel and begging for John's presence. I got bitter. I got mad and angry. I snapped at people. I made it my goal to find someone to let out my frustrations on. I spoke badly of someone. I was rude to strangers. I just let the sorrow take a hold of me and take me to a bad place.
That's the things that can make you take backwards steps on the journey. Or just not move at all.
Sometimes I find myself looking back.
I can still see the small light behind me of the place where I used to be.
Where I was happy with John and we had been walking a different path together.
I am sad I cannot return to that place.
But God is sending me to a different place.. through a different path. It doesn't mean I always like it. In fact, I dont think I have admitted to liking it yet. Because I don't. Because I was fine where I was. And I am still incredibly confused on why it was chosen for me to take another route in life. I am still squinting my eyes ... looking for a small bit of light.
It's the last two lines of Frost's poem that uplift me.
Because I am on this road... it is going to make me the future person I am to become. Not everyone in their life is given that chance to transform completely. This is my chance to do so. As much as I hate it... I have no choice. My only concern is that I come out BETTER in the end. And I believe with the strenghth I have as a person and the faith I carry with me... I will.