Thursday, March 3, 2011

Compare/contrast

Because I am a teacher I am very familiar with different techniques to teach students concepts.
One thing we learned about were Venn Diagrams (yes, even band directors can use them). I am sure many people remember doing them at some point.... here's what it looks like:

Now, I have been warned about the comparison thing when getting into widow dating. It's a big no-no but something we all seem to do. Anyone would do it.
I find myself often times comparing certain aspects of current boyfriend to John.
They have their differences for sure. Height, hair, body shape, body hair (lol), sense of humor, music tastes, sports tastes, age, etc.
But the weird thing about this whole thing is often times I don't find myself looking into the things that made them different but rather being astonished by the things that make them similar. The weird thing is... I didn't know this ahead of time. I wasn't seeking out another John. No one can fill those shoes. No one ever will. Nor should anyone ever try.
But it happened.
I found these things.... sometimes that creep me out.
They both worked for TCI. They both marched in drum corps (like me). They both lived at home with their parents and were seeking at job at age 24.
My bf is in California right now working with the Santa Clara Vanguard.
John went to an SCV camp several years ago.
He had called me and let me listen to the hornline play "Send in the Clowns." I remember how quiet I was. I cried.
John and boyfriend are connected to quite an amount of each other's friends. Yet, they met once.
Boyfriend watches ALL THE SAME EXACT shows I used to watch with John.
Boyfriend has different musical taste than John but both excel wonderfully in music.
I mean is it any surprise that he is a musician?

I guess what I am trying to get at here is that there will never be a comparison to John. ever. No one could even come close.
But, boyfriend as some AMAZING aspects as well that can bring out a freshness to my relationship.

I don't want to compare.
I just want to experience something different while longing for what used to have been....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

After the rain came a rainbow...enjoy!!