Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Stone and the Setting

(I started writing this post a few weeks ago... finally finished and published it....)

As I have said before.... there is no rule book for what I have gone through.
Many times I have had to make decisions solely based on what I felt was right inside my heart. Because  there was no choice.
And often I have found myself worrying if the choice was correct.
If it was acceptable by others.
Every decision regarding John or Ryan was one I had to think over a million times to make sure it was "right."
Keep in mind. 
No rule book. 
So... what defines "right"? 
And why did I care so much? It's not like anyone else would know what to do in my situation... even though I swear some people have definitely acted like they were masters on the subject of grief. (and therefore I probably just stopped talking to them anyway).

But one thing always tugged on my heart strings... and made me most nervous of all.
My engagement ring.
A material thing, of course, but also something so personal and meaningful.
A symbol of forever. 
A symbol I had been wanting to wear on my finger since I was a little girl. A girl with dreams and fantasies and wishes and hopes.
Of being a pretty bride in white with a sparkly ring on her finger.

But what does one do with an engagement ring when their fiance passes?

I have seen several variations from friends on their decisions. 
And then I made mine.

On Tuesday morning I rode up to Jacksonville with Ryan to see Mr. Harby. 
I have known Mr. Harby for years without actually meeting him.
He's the jeweler that John used to created my gorgeous engagement ring.
He was a really sweet guy to meet and was extremely understanding when we came in. I am sure I am not the first person that has been in this situation... but it's also a pretty rare case indeed.

(Also, let me tell you that both Ryan and I had a sit down discussion with John's dad on this whole process and he was delighted with our plan. Needless to say it was an emotional moment for us all but one I hold quite near and dear to my heart.)

So, our final decision was to take out the center stone of my current engagement ring from John and replace the stone with something else meaningful. My first initial thought was to use John's birthstone but of course him being born in April made that a diamond. lol.
So I immediately turned my thoughts to the place where we met.
FSU :)
So, I decided to get a garnet stone put in the middle of the setting.
I never got a school ring before either so this covered another base.

I was delighted with the outcome and happy to share it with you:
This photo was taken at Mr. Harby's office... it was the first garnet we tried and it fit perfect!
(Please ignore my chubby fingers)

This photo was taken after the ring was set. It stays on my right hand now :) 
(Once again.... ignore the chubby fingers)

So, I have been reunited with my ring. And I think it's beautiful and a great dedication to the love I had with John and my journey into new love.
So... where's my center stone you may ask? 
Well, it's in good hands with Mr. Harby until Ryan wishes to use it. :) 

We will meet again.... the stone and I. <3 p="">


Meredith said...

I love this like whoa. I think it was a great decision! :)

Autumn said...

Thank you, Meredith. You have always been so supportive :)