Friday, July 23, 2010

more changes.

I really suck at packing.

I keep getting distracted. For instance. Im writing in my blog.

I HATE packing. I don't know anyone that absolute loves it. But I know for sure I 100% loathe it! And of course.... the situation... doesn't make it one bit easier. This is NOT where I thought I was going to be. I thought the next time I packed up my stuff in boxes was because John and I were going to move into our new house. Packing with John would have made this so much easier. But here I am... packing alone. I have had to make some tough decisions with everything. Still can't decide about clothes and shoes. Im at a loss with those items.

I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I am packing up and leaving this place behind. I have to close a door. The door I walked merrily into over 5 years ago. I didn't even have a say so in the end. John was taken. I was left behind to figure things out. So far, I haven't gotten too far. I allow others to help guide me on my path. But I have taken the smallest of steps. Someone texted me today and mentioned this move was another baby step. Although I love this person dearly she couldn't be more wrong.
THIS IS A GIANT STEP. A step that terrifies me. Am I really walking anyway? Or floating along?

I made another step yesterday.
It wasn't something I was searching for. It came to me. Which NEVER happens. Except John.
I had to take a hard step yesterday and go to my principal and tell him that I was leaving Walker Middle School. I had been asked by the director of Ocoee Middle School to be her associate director next year. And after thinking about it... and get advice from others... I decided it would be a good choice for me. A direction I needed to take. Not for anyone else but myself. Professionally as well as emotionally. Of course I am going to miss my kids, my awesome administration, my friends I made there, band parents, etc. I will miss it. But part of me was scared about going back. Because everyone knew and I would have to face it everyday. It was a lose/lose situation. They would mention it and I would get upset or they would completely ignore it and I would get upside. Now I get to start somewhere new with someone I like. A team. A support system. And I am actually looking forward to it. I know OMS is a great school and I know that me and Nicolle are going to make a good team. Even if she is a GATOR. :( :)

Back to packing.


mrs.kristin said...

I understand your leaving WMS (obviously I don't have the same feelings, but have left two schools by choice, and one not by choice--it's hard no matter what). Not in the same circumstances, but you have to go with your gut feelings of what's best for you right now! Sounds like OMS will be a great fit for you!!

Star said...

I don't know you but I know that there was no way I could go back to my job. I stressed about it a lot before I made the decision not to go back at all. But I have to say it was the best. People who cared about me as a person, stayed in touch. Others went away.

The scary thing is running into those people in the community. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. I'll blog about it sometime...