despite the title of this entry... i am not a bridesmaid for any of them.
in my mind, the twisted mind that i now obtain, i have a feeling that no one would want me to be in their wedding. out of pity. or fear. that they might hurt my feelings.
but at least I am being invited.
it's still odd though... the decorated pieces of paper. with their floral patterns and solid colors. RSVP dates and cursive writing.
that i have never got to create my own.
but yet, there is still evidence i was there.
i still wear my ring.
i asked ryan about it and he thinks that's it's ok. (did i mention how awesome he is?). it stays on my right hand... the evidence of where i once was. engaged. planning a marriage.
and it wasn't to be.
and here i am... attending all the weddings of everyone who will never have to experience what I did. they made it. they have obtained their dreams. my dream.
my roommate got engaged to her boyfriend the other day.
after dating for about 4 months... they are engaged. like that.
it's times like these where i am like, "seriously???"