All of a sudden everyone becomes more enlightened... they have it "figured out" and also feel the need to give out unwanted advice. Or act too good for resolutions...
One of my biggest peeves is those who make statements like "why do you wait until Jan. 1 to make a resolution? you can start anytime... blah blah blah"
...
it's pretentious.
I mean, give people a little credit for TRYING to make a resolution for goodness sake!
And if it wasn't people getting all hot and bothered about other's resolutions it was people bitching about their 2011.
It sucks for widows to read statuses where people have nothing to do but complain about horrible their year was. People that got married, that have beautiful and healthy children, people who have AMAZING high paying jobs, people who are perfectly healthy, etc.
No one that had been widowed complained about their year.
Even though they probably had the shittiest years of all.
Most of them were probably smarter than me and stayed off of facebook anyway. Facebook, as I have mentioned before, has always been a weakness of mine and I am gradually learning how to balance it out and not take things personal.
Until yesterday.
When everyone's status made my blood boil
And so I have started cleaning out my facebook.
I have deleted people (yes) and I have mostly unsubscribed from people who do nothing but post nonsense that i really could care less about.
Pictures of them getting ready for the club, statuses of constant frustration, people that only quote lyrics or films, etc. etc.
All hidden from view now :)
So, I think that was one positive step to start this new year for sure.
As for my resolutions... I do have them. Call it cliche or whatever but everyone deserves a fresh start. The new year just may give people a chance to find page one.
My thing is... give people the chance.
And here is my chance.
2012 will be MY year.
A positive, blessed year.
And one that I know I have to be in control of.... for the most part.
Some resolutions:
1) LOSE THE FREAKING WEIGHT.
I am once again officially the heaviest I have ever been.
it's just getting annoying.
mainly because I control it and I am well aware of it.
I eat like crap and I don't exercise. So, at least I know how to fix the problem. I am aware that what I am currently doing (which is nothing) is the wrong thing and all I need to do is go opposite of that and I will see results.
Minor fixes: drink more water, eat out less.
Major fixes: join a gym, take yoga, change eating habits completely.
By the summer I would love to be down 20 lbs or more.
Perhaps I should set up a separate small blog dedicated to that journey... anyone know how to do that?????
like... ya know... a tab up top where it would link to my other blogs?
which leads me to the next resolution (which these are in no order at all)...
2) Fix my blog.
It's outdated. and kind of dark...
and need expansions to fit me expanding my life.
I would love to add a section on other aspects of my life in addition to my grief journey... as well as a special section where ryan can write once a week.
so, I am currently in the market for someone to "pimp my blog."
Or... a blog designer.
If you have any suggestions please let me know.
remember: i am a teacher and a widow. money is tight.
3) Figure out finances.
Living paycheck to paycheck is getting old.
Ryan and I have come up with some ideas to try and get out finances better figured out for the year 2012... and one of the goals being for Ryan to pursue a job other than Universal and to get into law school. If he goes to school that will be his full time "job" and I will try to make ends meet on the other end. No matter what I need to get out of debt. My debt isn't much compared to many out there... but enough to make me not like it. Paying off my car and credit card this year is on the top of my list. I just came across the app called mint.com!! I highly recommend it to everyone that is interested in money management. I am kind of obsessed with it. It helps you budget out your fiances and gives you warnings when you go near budget or over it and also offers advice. I check it daily. The best part is that Ryan and I linked our bank accounts ( yes, already) and we are budgeting as a couple and not as individuals. So it takes into account both our ... well... accounts.
4) God/church/bible
Ryan and I have already concluded we need to 1) establish a church 2) pray DAILY 3) read the Bible
One of my favorite things to do with Ryan is pray together. it's a special thing we do at least once a month where we hold hands in bed and pray outloud for each other. It is especially helpful when I am feeling anxious. There is something about coming together and speaking to God as a couple that makes everything seem so much better. It really does put me at ease.
As for church ... the problem we seem to be coming across is the fact that I am non-denominational and ryan is catholic. We don't necessarily always agree on where to go for service. I don't care that he is Catholic at all. I just tend to get bored in Catholic services (not to mention mean glares when I take communion at a Catholic wedding and do not do the whole cross my head, heart thing). So, we might just have to compromise on this one.
5) Get creative!
My creative juices have really been flowing lately! There is soooo much I want to do but of course things that keep me from doing it... money and time being the prime suspects. So, I am going to try and set aside one day a week to do something "crafty." Either by myself or with a friend. Doing crafts (or baking, cooking) really helps me release tension and I am hoping that I can also use craft skills to bless others when it comes time to birthdays, parties, etc. I mean, I always love getting handmade things from people... so I am sure others would like that too.
6) Fall in love every day.
I want to continue the relationship I have with Ryan in the direction that we are going and never take advantage of a single moment.
Widows get a big appreciation at a second shot at love.
We take advantage of every moment, big or small.
We want to make memories everyday. Photos at every event, saying "yes" to any invitations, road trips whenever possible... we want to make sure we live our new lives to the fullest.
I am hoping that everyone would do this.... and not have to be a widow to learn to do so. Luckily, I have always lived by that mantra.
7) Family and Friends
2011 brought me closer to a lot of people.
Sadly, I lost a few friendships along the way. Some have not completely disappeared. They have faded. They still linger there but are not the same as they were before.
Now i have new ones to work on.
New people to care for and love.
And there is always my family... who I always feel the need to stay connected with as possible. The longer time goes by the farther apart everyone spreads so keeping in touch has been a challenge. I want to try and visit EVERYONE this year. i feel bad because Kristi was once again left out... mainly because she is the most expensive to visit. So, I want to make sure she becomes a priority.
In June Ryan and I wrote a list of goals.
We got to review them and edit them tonight.
After 6 months we accomplished a little... but not as much as I wanted to.
I will perhaps post them sometime this week... they are our "official" resolutions. I can then continue to track them and watch to see if we obtain the goals we are setting out for ourselves.
My advice to everyone is... go ahead and make a resolution.
Don't worry about what those pretentious people say about you not having to do it on Jan 1. I think Jan 1 is a fine day to make a resolution. (not to mention it's easier to track). (not to mention it's easier to obtain things like finances and weight management now that the holidays are over).
And here is to the year 2012....
may it be filled with happiness, health and love... lots and lots of love.
